This is my article, and I will mail it to a professor! give me some suggestion!!!thank you a lot !!!?

"Dear XXXXX,
Hello. How are you?
It's really a privilege to study in your class, and it helps me a lot. You have shown us a video about the XXXXX Aircraft. It is a very beautiful aircraft and has very advanced aerodynamics, I'm very interested in it.

About aviation, it has always interested me. When I was young, I was very good at drawing, and always got the first place in competitions. So everybody just said I would be a very good artist.
In senior high school, I became very interested in military aircraft, and some of my classmates had the same interests too, maybe because we are really men*. So every weekend we spent a lot of time searching for some news about Chinese aircraft in magazines in a bookstore, and compared our planes with American aircraft. We always spent a lot of time there reading books but never bought anything, what made the shop keeper very unhappy. But that was a good time for us, and at that time I've obtained a lot of basic knowledge about aircraft.
At last I gave up the thoughts of becoming an artist, to study about aviation.

I graduated at the Nanchang Hangkong University (Nanchang University of Aeronautics), majoring in Aerospace Engineering.
When I was in college, I liked to play flight simulators on my computer. It really costs much money for a computer that runs them, but I learned a lot from it. X-Plane 9, Flight Simulator X, DCS: Blackshark and Falcon 4.7 - they are all very good. Some of them have many kinds of airplanes, and they are very realistic.
I always tried to introduce people to these simulators, but they all said it's too complicated. Now I need to learn more about it, because I've never tried it the way you have shown in the video.

I am also fond of flying RC airplane models, and I've made some kind of airplane models by myself. Some of them flied well, but some crashed. I think my flight skill is good, though. I have a T-Rex 450 clone helicopter, and I can fly it upside down. Once I participated in an innovation competition of my college, and I made a very small flapping-wing UAV. It was weighted less than 10g, with a wingspan of around twenty centimeters. It looked like a big butterfly. Because of its light weight, the stability was a bit unacceptable, and it can't be controlled. The teacher liked it, however, so I got the first place.
The following year I found that a student did a flapping-wing aircraft too, much bigger and faster than mine, and it could be controlled. It was really a good job. At that time we communicated a lot.

Now at work, we are designing an amphibian aircraft, which will be the largest of its kind in the world.
I am in the general arrangement department and currently am responsible for the Environmental Control System layout. Throughout this job I've learnt a lot about this system, and other systems as well.
I also stayed in the factory as an intern for some time and learnt the manufacturing and assembly technologies and processes.

I've enclosed my college courses and the scores in the attached Excel file for your reference. I am not sure if I am qualified for your University, as you have your own requirements.

One thing I forget to tell you is that there is another place in China you really don't want to miss.
Here is a website for an introduction:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huangshan_Mountains
It's not far from my home.

I hope to meet you in China soon.

Best Regards,
Han"

I'm not sure why you're sending this email. If you're interested in applying for a graduate program, probably the best thing to do would be to contact someone in the department (someone in charge of admissions, not a random professor). Sending them your life story isn't going to accomplish anything. And if you're not sure if you're qualified for it, then it's probably not in China, so why are you telling them they'll be in China?